The power of asking for help.

One of the very first things I discuss with my clients and students is the basic skill of asking for help.  At my wilderness home in Northern Minnesota we always begin a 3-week course by running a powerful initiative highlighting the great and simple benefit of asking for help.  Our culture has an ingrained tendency toward needing to do everything on one’s own.  We ignore or forget that we are all in this together and that people are not only willing to help out, but we actively want to support each other.  We cannot do everything in life on our own, we just can’t, and really why should we want to? 

The inability to ask for help is often seen as quality related to stubbornness/laziness/etc, but it can also be seen as a simple skill, or tool.  Many young men I have worked with over the years simply do not know how, where, or when to present their vulnerability and need, and this can lead to a long running situation of paralysis.  There is a sense that we are all expected to simply know how to do things, how to go to college, how to take care of ourselves, and how to get things done.  In reality many of these life skills are not communicated clearly, expectations are not defined, and a confused situation is created that fosters shame and self-doubt. 

I have recently been taking my own advice to heart.  In the process of building a mentoring business and becoming viable and independent I have been asking for help at every turn.  It is not always an easy thing to do but the results have been phenomenal.  A long time ago I was presented with the idea of operating on a mutually beneficial basis, and when this is truly adopted into one’s life many wonderful results are found.  It truly is one of the first basic steps or assertions in the process of moving forward.  We all need help.

I propose today we all make a move and ask for help.  Be honest, be open, it is worth it—so worth it.